gshc2020.com

I loved the skyline, being able to walk to my favorite restaurants, and knowing there was always something to do.

But about nine years ago, my husband and I felt stuck in our careers, and everyday life was beginning to seem more exhausting than energizing.

As we tried to figure out our next move, we visited my dad in Lafayette, Indiana, a smaller city about two hours southeast of Chicago. To our surprise, he suggested we consider moving down there with him.

My husband and I toyed with the idea for a few months, but we hesitated because Chicago was where our support system was. Moving away from that familiarity seemed like a big risk.

However, after we were both laid off from our jobs, the idea of starting over in a quieter, more affordable place felt less unrealistic.

With us no longer being tied to Chicago for work, we packed up our suitcases and used our savings to move to Lafayette. It felt like the reset we were supposed to take.

At first, Lafayette seemed like the answer to our burnout

Within a few months, we both landed jobs in the fields we'd struggled to break into in Chicago, which made the move feel right.

Plus, Lafayette gave us things Chicago didn't — slower mornings and a sense of ease we didn't know we were missing. The constant hum of traffic and sirens was replaced by crickets and a star-filled sky.

Lafayette is home to less than 100,000 people, but Chicago has well over 2.5 million residents — and we could feel that difference. Instead of sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic, we could now get to our favorite places within minutes. Plus, we noticed far less foot traffic at stores and restaurants.

The sense of safety and trust in the community surprised us, too. Our neighbors actually said hello, which was a change from the keep-to-yourself nature I was accustomed to in Chicago.

I worried less about car theft and other crimes, and we were flabbergasted to learn that some of our neighbors didn't even lock their doors. Once, we left our garage door open all day, and nothing was touched.

And, of course, the affordability was a nice perk. We rented an apartment with newer amenities, multiple bathrooms, central air, and a dishwasher for nearly half the price of the older apartments we were accustomed to in Chicago.

But within a few months of living in Lafayette, silence became its own kind of sound. Without the constant distractions I was used to, I was faced with questions and thoughts I had been avoiding for years. Slowing down taught me the power of stillness.

The lack of diversity eventually caught up with us as well. In many of the spaces we were in, there were only a few other Black people, which felt isolating. This was a big adjustment coming from Chicago, which is much more culturally and racially diverse.

I missed hanging out with friends, going to my church, and all the familiar things that felt like home. Plus, I was dealing with some health struggles at the time, which made it difficult for me to socialize and form deeper connections with those in the community.

For a while, Lafayette was just what we needed — a reset and a slice of peace. But after six years, we decided it was time to return to city life.

Returning to Chicago turned out to be just what we needed

Almost as if it were a sign, I received a new job opportunity in Chicago, and we moved home in 2023.

The shift was alarming in the opposite direction. The stars disappeared, the long lines returned, and the noise hit us hard after years of quiet.

But the comfort returned, too — diversity, our favorite restaurants, and the city's familiar rhythm. Being back also meant reconnecting with longtime friends and family and returning to communities that felt familiar. There was a coziness in being surrounded by people, places, and experiences that felt like home.

Looking back, Lafayette gave us more than quiet — it gave us room to breathe, slow down, and grow into the careers we'd been working toward. It taught us to find stillness within ourselves, which was something we didn't know we needed.

We learned that peace didn't have to depend on how quiet our surroundings were; it could come from how we learned to navigate the noise around us.

Moving away showed me that sometimes, you need distance to understand what home feels like.

Read next

Renita Quirls is a contributing writer for Business Insider. 

• Chicago